Internet
by Erebos Seika
Summary: When Nagato discovers the odd side of the internet, headaches for Kyon ensure.


One Shot Title: Internet

Author: Reniko Seika

Genre: Humor

Rating: T

Warnings: Oddities, Furry-themes, sexual references

Disclaimer: I own what I own, and I don't own so, so much more

A/N: Now, if requested, I could make this a series, I've got the ideas and could come up with them, but for now, I'm happy with this as a One-Shot.

**Internet**

"Kyon." Nagato's light voice passed through my ears. I turned my head and looked into those large helium eyes of hers.

"Yes, Nagato?" I asked.

"What is 'Yiff'?" You could hear the crickets. I wish I could say I was lucky, but I was not, we were all inside the club room today. Everyone heard the question. Surprisingly, Haruhi's jaw also dropped in sync to my own. I stashed that info away for later blackmail, but I digress.

"Why do you want to know? Never mind that, where did you hear that word?" I was flustered, and I should be, I should not have to be ashamed of being flustered after being asked a question like that. And before you ask, I'm not telling you why I know that.

Nagato casually pointed to the laptops we won from the Computer Research Society. "It was called '4-chan'."

I try not to do this too often, I really do, but I couldn't help it. My hand met my forehead with a resounding smack.

"Nice facepalm." Koizumi commented.

"Shut up." I muttered through my hand. I removed my hand and looked at the small purple-haired young woman. She looked so innocent, she obviously didn't understand the serevity of the situation.

"Well, Kyon, we're waiting." Haruhi was smirking at me, obviously enjoying my displeasure at being put on the spot with this kind of question.

"Well you obviously know what Yiff is, I saw your jaw drop, why don't you answer?" I challenged. That shut her up, with a nice snap as teeth clacked with teeth. But only for a second.

"She asked you, your responsibility." she folded her arm, grinning victoriously at me. I never win. With an overly dramatic sigh, I looked at Nagato again, carefully thinking my words.

"I'll explain later, that is not something to be spoken about in polite company." I said, rather diplomatically if I say so myself.

Haruhi's jaw dropped again, Koizumi had that empty smile on his face and Asahina-san looked cutely confused.

Damn I'm good.

Our 'club activities' slowly dwindled. Koizumi excused himself, Haruhi excused herself, Nagato excused herself, and ten minutes later, and a loss in Go to Asahina-san, I excused myself, leaving Asahina-san to change.

However, I wasn't expecting Nagato to be waiting by the side entrance I use to get out.

"Yes?" I asked her as I kept walking, she fell into step beside me.

"It is later."

God damn it.

-==-Internet-==-

This was not how I was expecting to spend my evening. Nagato did not have a laptop at her apartment, and insisted on getting one. With my help. I needed to discuss with the tech bloke at the computer store about what was needed, what it would be used for, with Nagato putting in generally unhelpful statements, just making out jobs (mine and the techie's) more difficult.

I won't bore you with the specs of the laptop we got her, I don't quite understand anything more than RAM and HDD. I got spoken into making sure the laptop had 'dedicated graphics', whatever that meant.

Then, when we got back to her apartment, I had to set it up, install drivers and everything. The apartment building had free wi-fi as part of the lease agreement, which was odd, I don't claim to know everything, or even a lot, but that was not something I had heard of before.

With the laptop up and running, I looked at Nagato, sitting there quite serenely as I set the laptop up.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

"Nagato, do you know what a Furry is?" I asked, wishing to whatever exists that I could stop blushing.

"I know what furry is, but I gather you mean it as a noun, so I do not know what you mean." she replied.

Oh god. This is what the laptop is for. So I opened the browser, typed in 'Google', and turned the laptop to her.

"Type in 'Furry'," I can't believe I'm doing this, "And go to the images." I made sure that safe-search was off.

Her fingers lightly ran over the keyboard and the mouse pad. She looked over the images for a handful over tense minutes.

"I see." she practically whispered the words.

No. No you don't.

"Now 'Yiff' is when those things are having sex." best to say it quickly, like ripping off a band-aid.

"I see." she said again.

No. No you don't see. But, It's not like I can dissuade her from 'seeing'.

"Do you enjoy this?" The question was light, innocent, spoken in her faint, wispy voice that meant she was unsure. However, if I was drinking, It would either result in a spit-take, covering the young woman in whatever, or choking and dying rather embarrassingly. Neither would be pleasant.

"It's not something I've really looked up enough for an opinion to form..."I trailed off uncertainly, but hey, it was Nagato, what would she do with the truth? "But I suppose it's not all that bad when it's not so heavy and full of guy-on-guy."

"Guy-on-guy?"

I want to cry.

"Male homosexuals."

"I see."

And I want to throttle her.

-==-Internet-==-

The last days of the week past without incident, the weekend not so much, as I came down with a fever on Sunday and missed school on Monday, but on the walk up on Tuesday morning, I was greeted by Taniguchi, who was the barer of some very odd news.

"Yo, Kyon, where were you?" He started off like any other person would, someone concerned for the absence of his school-mate (I refuse to consider this oddity of a person a friend).

"Had a fever of Sunday. Mother wouldn't let me go yesterday, not like I was complaining, though." I joked. However, he gained this grim look, and it quite honestly bothered me.

"Something happen?" I queried.

"We fear that Suzumiya had infected Nagato-san with her Weirdness." Taniguchi said gravely.

"I'm sorry?"

"Nagato-san was seen yesterday with a cat's tail coming out from her skirt. I'm afraid she's been lost, Kyon, she'll never be the quiet girl you fell for." Taniguchi slapped my back "comfortingly" with large, fake tears streaming down his face.

In all honesty, that Nagato was doing this was worrisome, but that was pushed aside as I had to publicly berate Taniguchi for being a moron.

I'll deal with Nagato's new problem later, I just want to enjoy the show.


End file.
